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Cherish the beautiful memories

She held me close to her, very tight, one leg on my waist, her warm breath I felt so close to my cheeks. Why don’t you sleep on your own on your bed? You had wanted a Barbie bed made for you. ”No Mamma. Want to sleep with you she said before drifting in deep sleep. Want to cherish these memories for a long time to come. She is now an 11-year-old. At times behaves too responsible at other times worse than a baby. Just drives me crazy. When I am unwell she is the mother and when she is unwell I am challenged to be a patient mom. 11 years ago … a memory that I will cherish forever…

A Baby’s arrival- memories to cherish forever

“‘Madam if everything goes fine your baby should arrive in October. October? We both felt excited, nervous, happy, worried… all mixed emotions. Just like every new parent, we decided our shopping list-diapers, crib, nappies, toys, a cute bed, pillow, the christening ceremony, the guest-list, the food and what not. But our S was in a great hurry. She arrived in August. Unexpected the least. 60 days in advance!!

Since she arrived early  S was transferred to a NICU, about 30 mins away from the nursing home where I had delivered. Her vitals were fine. Everything about her was fine. It was just that she arrived early and  I had not seen her, only heard her cry before I drifted into the unconscious state. After the sutures were removed, 10 days later I actually left home to meet S for the first time in my life.

S Now .

My body ached, my legs weak my heart pounding while I was at the waiting area in the NICU. I was crying, reeling with the joy of meeting her or sorrow of not having nursed her.. it was only me, my heart and my flow of tears. The doctor called out my name… I felt I would faint, fall. Pass out. I had to pass a  hygiene check. Total sanitization. Apron, gloves. S was so precious baby. I held her.

Instantly She felt the connect. She opened her tiny little eyes. I actually saw S smiling at me. The ocean within me couldn’t be controlled. I cried n cried seeing S. My S? so sweet.. so precious. Do I want a second baby? No. And S?  She closed her eyes in deep sleep with a smile on her pink lips. The staff consoled me. They said S is fine. She is very naughty. She pulls off the tubes. You may take her home next week. I wanted her immediately. Doctors asked me to wait till things were fine before she was home.

In my moments of pain or difficulties, when I am low on my spirit when I am worried about the trials of life  I recollect such happy memories. S has been strong since birth.  I too need to be strong. I cannot lose.S is fast asleep. Excited about going to school the next morning.

In our busy, hectic schedule, we are too busy with fulfilling our responsibilities, the commitments, the board meetings,  family, parents etc.  We fail to remember those moments, those beautiful moments of our past that were so important, so meaningful, so strengthening to us. We are lost in our worries, our anxieties, our fears, our insecurities. Cherish those beautiful memories of the past, those little moments of joy, the wonderful times spent together to face life again with courage and energy. These moments, these memories keep us bonded, strong and together as a family. In our Cusp Of Destiny, these moments may not come again but we can relive those moments and march ahead in life.